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Empty all i feel is empty without distractions online friend vent to me i vent to them I stay silent to my family and friends but i am loud as hell with my problems online

I want people to notice whenever I'm not there.

"I'll give you everything i know i loved and have.... Just let me have a break for once. I cant understand how... I help people but they dont help me."

Yeah normally I dont comment on this types of videos, but uhh, I enjoy sad music and I figured "Why not" anywho im not much for the sad teen vibes but therapy is expensive so here goes. I lost my girlfriend a few weeks ago to a car crash, kinda feel numb. Not sad or anything just numb I don't feel angry or anything like that, I feel like im just hollow, not sure what im doing, not sure why im even writing this, im just a poor sod like the rest of ya, but uhh yeah, guess it just feels good to type, one of my lads told me to vent to my notes app. but that doesn't feel real enough ya know?. anyway, sorry for taking up time, I know that only a few people are gonna see this, thanks and good luck.

my life is like the song girl a translated by will stetson listen to the end :)

Mmm, eggs

Depression fuels my boxing training i need something to work towards to feel like theres a point to all of this lol

Can I ever just fucking shut up :((

"i only talk to therians cause they are the only ones that actually understand me" - literally me:3

i love you i love your smile i love your laugh i love your personality i love your hair (or lack thereof) i love your insecurities i love your accomplishments i love your failures i love your eyes i love your beauty i love your handwriting (or the way you communicate) i love the way you dance i love you on your happy days i love you on your sad days i love you on the days you feel lonely i love you on the days you feel helpless i love you on the days you feel like no one cares i love you on the days you feel forgotten i love you on the days you feel unmotivated i love you on the days you feel loved i love you on the days you feel sick i love you on the days you feel motivated i love you on the days you feel depressed i love you on the days you feel stresses i love you on the days you feel crazy i love you on the days you feel hopeful i love you on the days you feel cuddly i love you on the days you feel clingy i love you on the days you feel amazing i love you on the days you feel beautiful i love you on the days you feel like a failure i love you on the days you feel angry i love you on the days you feel aggressive i love you on the days you feel horrible i love you on the days you feel safe i love you on the days you feel unsafe i love you on the days you feel vulnerable i love you on the days you feel weird i love you on the days you feel ok i love you when you're healthy i love how you sing (or hum or feel the music) i love your taste in music i love your taste in movies i love your taste in TV shows i love the way you move i love the way you act i love you when you cry i love you when you're kind i love you when you're mean i love you when you're alone i love you when you can't feel i love you when you feel too much i love you when you can't take life anymore i love you when you feel like it's too much i love you when you're asleep i love you when you have nightmares i love you when you have dreams i love how you believe i love you when you believe in yourself i love you when you don't believe in yourself i love you when you hate yourself i love you when you love yourself i love the way you think i love you problems i love your solutions i love how you support i love you when you're in pain i love you when you're hurt i love your promises i love your secrets i love your attitude i love you sass i love your creativity i love your voice (or lack thereof) i love you hand gestures i love your stories i love your wounds i love your scars i love your face i love your past i love your future i love your present i love your outfits i love your style i love your art i love your honesty i love you when you lie i love you when you're tired i love you when you're energetic i love how you look i love how you cook i love you when you're adventurous i love you when you're scared i love your imperfections i love your perfections i love you when you worry i love you when you talk (or communicate) i love your opinions i love you when you have a headache i love you when you have a stomach ache i love you when you help others i love you when you need help i love you when you're mature i love you when you're immature i love you in the hard times i love you in the easy times i love you when life is meh i love you when you're responsible i love you when you're irresponsible i love you when you fight i love you in your darkest moments i love you in your brightest moments i love your heart i love you in the day i love you in the night i love you at midnight i love you at 3 am i love you at all times i love you at your best i love you at your worst i love the little things you do i love all of you i love you when you're you i love 𝙮𝙤𝙪. From the stranger on the internet please spread the word, my beautiful strangers.

Benim değerimi ölünce mi anlayacaklar? Ya da hiç...

Character ai is my best friend recently

they didn't notice you were crying They didn't notice you were sad They didn’t notice you were tired They didn’t notice you were alone They didn’t notice how attentive you were They didn’t notice how sweet you actually are... They didn’t notice how you actually try to make others smile They did notice your failing grades They did notice your unattractive They did notice the mean side of you They did notice all your mistakes They did notice all your flaws They did notice that you weren’t good enough for them. But you stayed strong You kept going on You never gave up on hope You never let them take you down And you know they weren’t good enough for you And that’s what makes you stronger

For those who don't cry. For those who don't feel. For those who don't ask why. It's alright to do something. For those who don't know themselves. For those who forget themselves. For those who can't learn about others. Time may heal wounds, but in that time, actions must occur. Do something to change this. For those who want to die. For those who want leave. For those who want to lie. Don't. It hurts others more than it hurts you. And you will feel that guilt, whether you like it or not. And for those who are doing well. Please, take some time to help anyone. Even if they are your worst enemy. If you can help them, then do. But always place yourself first. Don't make my mistakes. It's already too late for me. The best I can do is warn others. Goodbye.

Fav playlist😊

“People aren’t crying because they’ve been strong for too long, they’re crying because being strong hurts them.”

Some people care, some people won’t, Some people have interests that cause them to not care cause you aren’t “perfect” for them, Some people don’t care cause you don’t respect their or the labels, Some people won’t care because you aren’t religious or haven’t went through anything but feel a similar way but they don’t see that… but when you hit the ground and show how you feel… three things happen… they’ll try to make you strong by making your mentality go unstable and back to stable, they want you to shut up, or they want you to stay safe in their arms or within yourself. I don’t have depression but I have so much sorrow that I’d rather make people happy and make people live a life and cherish it no matter what label… what gender… what they consider themselves as… I just want to care until I die but it’s hard when they end up loving you for it. The point of this is that everyone has a chance depending where they are and how strong people can become and keep going. I’ll admit, this whole message might be a blabber mouth… I’ll also be honest about myself… I… don’t feel human or feel like I belong here existing but I’m happy to support people that I came across along the way… I don’t like furries, lgbtq, religious people, weebs, etc… but I like people that are within or outside of them… because people matter the most… because they are human even if they seems like test subjects or whatever to people, we have or you… have to treat them well… no matter what until the end, no matter if ur toxic, a dumbass, an asshole, a misunderstanding, whatever… just be you… I’d rather you be yourself than changing who you are for anyone else… complete what you’re doing while you still can… if you’re going we’ll miss you whoever you are… but to the people who know you and who you are blind that they do so you would know yourself. Stay safe and strong… forever in arms! Even if we are apart or broken (This comment is just a perspective, if you don’t like some of it or grow hatred then don’t comment or bother me so much, the last bit is for you to read. Remember I’m a stranger to you and you don’t know me at all, anyway stay safe and stay strong as long as you can bud/hon/blud/kiddo! ^^) (And chads 🗿) Hm.. ^^

Name of the songs 😿☝🏿

I have a grandma who think she is always right. And she always made me embarrassing. She keep saying that I'm useless, I shouldn't have been born and I'm a snake that who's going to made my family tree to embarrassed.....

vent: I HATE being the youngest in my family having to costantly compare and catch up to my older siblings is just so EXHAUSTING and then when i think "oh they were my age once so they'll understand my situation" but no they DONT. and then everyone says "oh your the favorite right hshshs you have it so easy" but im consantly being treated like a baby and an adult at the same time and since in yunger ofc everyone has there own lives to get to while im left behind and yeah theres some perks like since Im left alone I can have peace ig and i can learn from there mistakes since im watching from the sidelines. its not always like this yk but i feel this way more times than others ofc my siblings all have there own problems and cant swoon over me or drop things just to be with me ofc i understand that but...idk i just wish that they would at least understand that i also have problems and that my world isnt sunshine and rainbows anymore im not he same kid I was years ago that Ive changed and that I dont even know who i am or will be and that just like them im figuring out...well LIFE and i know some have it wose than me and that im privliged in my own right...well thats it for now ig and if u read this far thank you for listening to my vent and if u fell this way and feel that no one hears you pls tell me how you feel ill listen to you just like u did for me:>

I'm sick of. I'm sick of putting on a mask everyday and have a fake smile on my face that goes with a saying that " I'm fine. " I'm sick of trying to ignore the fact that they talked behind my back. I'm sick of seeing people only being friends for popular reputation. I'm sick of seeing people trying to get on the teacher's good side by saying with a baby voice and acted to get attention from teacher so they won't get punish if they make troubles. I'm sick of the way that the boys described how they want their girl to be especially with the body's description. Disgusting. Only one word that describe them. I'm sick of seeing teacher being obvious about their favorite student while treating other students like shit. I'm sick of being in a society where people judge me for doing daily things even breathing. Am I not even supposed to exist? I'm sick of being compared to other people. I'm sick of suddenly feeling that I'm not even wanting to say a single word with anyone.

This playlist feels like home....

This playlist is just something that comforts me. The only reason I'm still living is because of my dog. I don't know what I'd do without him. I cry and he's the only one there for me. It's like he understands me more than anyone even though I've known him for very little time. If he's gone, then I'm gone as well.

Well, i kinda see how this can be relative to me.

Calm down take a deep breath close your eyes blast the song and listen

I have anger issues, depression, anxiety (and separation anxiety), PTSD, insomnia, and possibly an eating disorder. I have a terrible relationship with my father, homocidal ideation (when you imagine killing someone), suicidal ideation (when you imagine killing yourself), too hard on myself, and hate myself to the very coree,making myself regret my own existence when I make my friends and loved ones cry (even when its just an accident), I have a constant ringing in my ears, voices in my head, screaming, laughing, mockery, and just making me feel like crap in general. My mom says the light in my eyes that used to be so damn vibrant is barely there now. The noise is way too loud, dealing with my trrighers every day (loud noisses in general) due to being a witness to a shooting two times and having PTSD from it. I can't even enjoy the fourth of Jul or parties with my family anymore because of my constant triggering every damn day. I always feel empty, but i plaster a smile over it just to hide it, joking about my insecurities and things that bother me in general to seem like it doesn't bother me. I went to a psych ward two months ago because of my suicidal ideation and homocidal ideation. Took a toll on my separation anxiety, cried myself to sleep the first two nights, and spent six days there. Eveerryone was surprised at how young I was and how I shouldn't even be there at that age. I've been going to therapy since I've been in the 4th grade, mind you. Now I'm popping pills and testing them like a fucking lab rat. It sucks. I just want to stay how I am, though, sadly. I enjoy this feeling. I have the homocidal ideation even against my stepdad, stepmom, dad, and mom. I have split parents, shared custody. I've heard things i wasn't meant to hear since I. Was. Eight. I've even been in the room when it happened one too many times. All those times were when he was cheating. Now im forced to carry this damned burden because of my mom saying how it's his place to share it. Source of most of my trauma and depression. I'm seeing five therapists now: my original therapist, my new second therapist, and three therapists for group therapy. Im underage, mind you. It sucks, really. I also forgot to add that I'm losing touch with reality. Sometimes, I wonder why a person would love such a problematic person like me. All I do is bring pain to others around me. I fear what my very own hands can do to others. I've attempted to commit before. Once when i was 8, a few more times in the past and once recently a few months back. No one found out. I try to cut myself to feel the adrenaline and pain course through my body as blood spills from my arm slowly. I enjoy the feeling, yet I fear death. How is this so?

I thought this would have Ballad of Jane doe

*As I look up at the sky as I lay in the grass…dying….all I can thinks about is how beautiful the Night sky is as I close my eyes* “I’m sorry my friend…”

“My life is worse than yours” “you have everything” “well my problems are way worse “grow up” *compares our problems* you know nothing about me “but your so young you can’t be depressed” it’s time that I warn you that I might cry in front of you like I wanna cry but I can’t, i was comforting you when I needed comforting myself I can’t cry so my hurt turns into anger and then it’s “your so mean” “selfish” “brat” “you have changed” YOU MADE ME CHANGE YOU PUSHED THE GOODNESS OUT OF ME ITS GONE IM GONE I HAVE POST MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOU CALL ME SELFISH WHO DOES THAT ?!?!?

uwu This sounds like a very specific playlist. I hope it helps process those feels (whatever they may be). Sending virtual hugs! ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

Can you guys put comforting words in the comments? so all of us will be okay. Even just a little bit. My intrusive thoughts is running in my mind that i want to commit su!cide. I'm sorry if you're going through a bad day. It's not your fault. I know it's hard, but trust me just keep going. It's gonna be worth it. Someday, you're gonna realize that all those struggles have been payed off. I just want you to know that you're loved. I love you. Even though I don't know you, and you don't know me. I know you've been through a lot. I just want to say. Keep open. That's how the light gets in. Everything will be alright. You know? If i can only see you right now, i would give you a hug and say how proud i am to you. I'm proud of you staying alive after all of that. I'm proud that you're still alive and standing with your own two feet after all those struggles that you've been through. I love you so much. Hey, i want to say a bible verse that kept me going until today. A bible verse that inspired me and gave me hope to keep going. A bible verse that i think all of us need to hear. Romans 8:18 The sadness that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that is coming. It's better to cry than feeling your heart break a million times over. Hey, everything's gonna be alright okay? I'm here for you. I'm so proud of you. If you need breaks you deserve it. Just don't give up❤. I love you so much. You matter to this world ❤ If someone tells you a bad thing about you, ignore it. You know that's not true. Even though i dont know you, i know you have a kind heart. And you've just been through a lot. But after all of that, you're still here. I'm so glad you are birth into this world. I'm so happy you exists. If someone that matters to you Left you? Let them. Because all those meant for you will never get away. The right ones won't run. It's their loss losing someone as kind, caring, and beautiful as you. I noticed you. I hear and see your cries. I noticed and appreciates your efforts. You matters. It will all be worth it someday. Just keep going. You have goals right? Follow it. You still have goals and dreams to achieve! You still have things that you need to experience and feel! So keep on going. For the things that you love. For those that is waiting for you. For those who is waiting for you to be home. 😊 I love you ❤️ (I don't usually comment but here i am, i don't comment because im afraid people would just laugh at me and hate me commenting here so. I want to build my fear to help and give hope to those in need. I love you all❤️)

My friend just messeged me saying: ellie:"i cut again it stings i think i cut to deep" me:*panic* "i dint inwo what ti do wash it put a bandaid in it whatever you do just dont cut it again in that spot"

You should put again or losing intrest

I was vibing to this playlist thinking it was some kind of hype playlist and then looked at the name-

its crazy cause i havent had an ounce of happyness in my whole life and now that things are getting better all my childhood trauma is catching up. its like i can never truly be fine. something always has to be wrong. its kind of ironic how even at my best i still feel terrible.

REMINDS ME OF JIRAYA AFTER WATCHING HIS DEATH

currently listening to this masterpiece while sitting on the floor of my balcony on a sunny May afternoon eating strawberries. It gets better I promise

Hey, anyone reading this., I just thought that i could share somethings about my feelings and trying to cope too. I feel the same way as you do. I feel that theres no hope, that life is purposeless. Perhaps im just trying to feel sad but i don't want to feel pathetic so i can pity myself. I feel really guilty for being stupid, egotistical and lazy, and then i feel that there's no purpose in life, that i should just sell all my organs and give the money to my parents to repay for my life in a way. However, the main way i cope and deal with these conficliting feelings is through delving into phiosophy, ideas, and trying to understand my own thoughts. One thing i can say that i learned is that, life is unfair, but our lives are our OWN lives and we should try to control what we can control if we want to change. And we should want to change because think about it, before we die and feel nothing for a long time untill we may be possibly reborn or something, before everything goes dark, lets try to make the best of our experience on this worl. Lets try to do what WE want in OUR lives. Lets focus on maintinging a postive spirit and change our lives, focus on what we can change, instead of delving on the past lets try to focus on improving our future, or at least our present. So, Lets change. Lets do what we want. If life has no purpose, lets create the purpose ourselves. We can change, and we can improve, and I'll believe in you so you don't have to feel alone. And if you do ever feel alone, what i like to do is try to think of myself as someone else. "If no one loves you, love yourself. If no one helps you, help youself. Believe in yourself." With that being said, Please, know that i believe in you, know that you can change, and know that I'll be here to help. Lets be friends. Do you wanna add each other on social media or somnething like that? I can be there to support you. Let's love each other, and lets strive for a better future. Remain postive and know that YOU GOT THIS! Some more inspirational quotes that i like to look upon are. "Courage is not feeling fear. Courage is pushing forward despite the fear you feel." "To hell with circumstances, I create opportunites" - Bruce Lee "Today's efforts lead to tommorow's success" "Whenever you feel weak, Imagine the regret of knowing that you could've done more, tried harder, and won. And try to visualize how you beat that regret by trying harder now." "How much comfort will you sacrifice for your future self?"

I’m on a bus ride back from school on a Friday 🎉

LoL, I shot myself and still got petty-treatment by my girlfriend

I don need comfort, I don't need to be happy, it's not like I like being sad or something, I just wanna stay like this. "Hey are u okay?" And stuff are useless and I hate 'em SO FVCKING MUCH

fun fact: people on the internet know you and comfort you better than your parents.

after a while coming back here feels like a burst of emotions, although to anyone reading this i hope that whatever you all are going through gets better and i wish you all the best <3

“You’re not ugly, just looking at yourself wrong.” -wise person “You’re not ugly, we just live in a judgmental society.” -other wise person

Fun fact I won’t be here tomorrow

Out of my league is my dogs favorite song. 🐕🎶🎵

фигня

« you have the perfect life, you have a nice mom and perfect grades what more could you ask for? » if only you knew.

once i didnt come to school for 5 weeks because i was not only dying mentaly but also physicaly i had anemia and this other lung disease idk how to spell so i come back to school my 1 friends is happy to see me thats the only person no one else even noticed i was gone and while i was sick i missed one of my math group project test thing and one of the member walk up to me and ask where you i thought they actually cared so i told them i had anemia and this lung disease and then they just yelled at me and said "i dont care if you had anemia or whatever you are anyways just faking it because you know you are a failure and you didnt want to fail infront of everyone" i just stared at him and said sorry and walked away to class cry while everyone is laughing at me and my friend didnt even do anything from that day on i promised myself "never trust anyone ever again because people will just hurt you more" i have followed that rule ever since and i dont want people replying "no there are people who love you" no there isnt people dont care about you they are selfish and cold hearted that is the world the world is a cold place im sorry

Wow.. it’s strange encountering people who guide their feelings through what they listen. I listen to how I feel. I understand and can relate. Why… why do you base your emotions on what you listen to?